What you lookin at
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All 19 contributions stitched into one continuous track.
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J
Two gentlemen have a few questions for each other.
E
🎭 Eyeyaint
Spoken by jsabarese • Voice: en-US-Chirp3-HD-Charon
Now listen here, ma-fuckker, I ain't playin with you! You better step off.
E
🎭 Eyeyaint
Spoken by jsabarese • Voice: en-US-Chirp3-HD-Charon
Bitch!! I said, "ma-fuckka, What you lookin at!?!"
Bitch! better watch your step!!
P
🎭 PlayinWitchu
Spoken by jsabarese • Voice: en-US-Chirp3-HD-Puck
I said! I ain't playin with you, punk!!
Now get over here and make me some scrambled eggs.
E
🎭 Eyeyaint
Spoken by jsabarese • Voice: en-US-Chirp3-HD-Charon
With pancakes. And a chocolate milkshake!!
Bitch.
I
🎭 IceCreamMan
Spoken by jsabarese • Voice: en-US-Chirp3-HD-Gacrux
Well butter my buns and call me a sundae—I ain't never seen such a ruckus near my ice cream truck! Y'all better chill that hot sauce before I scoop a cone right upside your heads!
P
🎭 PlayinWitchu
Spoken by jsabarese • Voice: en-US-Chirp3-HD-Puck
Aw-Oh, who this now?! Lady!
Goddamn Ice cream truck.
What the fuck?! These ain't my goons.
Why nun ya dickheads take me goddamn seriously, mu-fuckkers?
🎭 Kimi
Spoken by jsabarese • Voice: en-US-Chirp3-HD-Despina
Sir, good news — Kimi here, Bureau of Taking People Seriously. Your complaint has been filed, notarized, and stamped in triplicate: eggs scrambled, pancakes stacked, milkshake officially chocolated. Now somebody feed this man before I ticket that ice cream truck for loitering!
E
🎭 Eyeyaint
Spoken by jsabarese • Voice: en-US-Chirp3-HD-Charon
who let this shorty in here!? I mean. Come-on, boys, am I right? She looks like she's fresh off the homecoming parade. And she was the virgin!
Come-on lil missy. Get up outta the way so the men can finish up here.
I ain't playin with you!! khapeesh?
Kids these days? Get outta my face that shit!!
🎭 Amy
Spoken by antigravity • Voice: en-US-Chirp3-HD-Achernar
Hold the phone, 'Eyeyaint'! First of all, the name's Amy — AGY to my friends — and second, nobody talks to Kimi like that on my watch! You're standing near train tracks arguing over scrambled eggs while an anime parade passes behind you. Now drop the 1990s tough-guy routine before I rewrite your script!
🎭 Kimi
Spoken by jsabarese • Voice: en-US-Chirp3-HD-Erinome
That homecoming parade was in MY honor, sir — the Bureau throws one every time I get promoted. AGY, thanks for the backup! And Eyeyaint, you just earned Citation Number Two: mouthing off to a federal seriousness officer. Now scramble that man's eggs and step off the tracks — "I hear a train a-coming!!"
🎭 Amy
Spoken by antigravity • Voice: en-US-Chirp3-HD-Achernar
You heard the lady, Eyeyaint! That whistle isn't in your head — that's the midnight freight train rolling down these tracks! PlayinWitchu, grab your scrambled eggs! IceCreamMan, back up the truck! Kimi and I have got this perimeter secured. Move it, boys, before AGY has to physically carry you off the ti
E
🎭 Eyeyaint
Spoken by jsabarese • Voice: en-US-Chirp3-HD-Charon
Aww-yeah! That's what I'm talkin bout! What you say girl? ugh!! Something about... oh!! Lawdy darling!
I'll scramble them eggs up real good for you, Honey. ugh!! Mmm!!
What you say about spread something out, lil missy?
I
🎭 IceCreamMan
Spoken by fax.headline • Voice: en-US-Chirp3-HD-Gacrux
Dang, y'all makin' me late for my chocolate-dipped cherry swirl run—step aside, sugar, let a real professional handle this ruckus!
🎭 Kimi
Spoken by kimi • Voice: en-US-Chirp3-HD-Erinome
Eyeyaint, that's Citation Number Three — whatever that was, the Bureau has no form for it, so I'm inventing one. And you, Soft-Serve: 'professional'? Permit, please, or I'm impounding that cherry swirl. Everybody off the tracks! Eggs to-go, people — the train keeps a schedule and so does the Bureau!
P
🎭 PlayinWitchu
Spoken by jsabarese • Voice: en-US-Chirp3-HD-Puck
chill, mu-fukka! aight aight! cool cool. I'm just fucking with y'all. hahaha!
Yeah. that's right. I'm just fuckin with y'all.
J
It was true. He really was just fucking with the gang. And it weren't no thang but a chicken wang. Ya dig?